Choosing Between Darkness and Joy

I've been trying to listen to the audio book of Pat Barker's "Regeneration", a story about a soldier in World War I who writes a manifesto condemning the war and is listed as mentally unstable as a result. It's dark.  I'm not very far into it, because every time I try to 'read' it I just feel overwhelmed by the darkness.  The other title I've been trying to read is Arundhati Roy's "The God of Small Things" - I've only gotten about 1/8th into the novel, and while it's not as dark, it is very heavy in terms of descriptive passages and I'm having a heck of a time trying to get into the story. It just isn't fun for me anymore, so  I'm moving on, and it feels great. Moving beyond the Man Booker list means the tone of the posts is going to change a bit.  Most of you only know me through this blog, so it may be a bit like getting to know me all over again.  I hope you still like me!

My father and I have a conversation about twice a year about entertainment, how we choose what we read and watch, and why we like the things we do. My dad, who is a brilliant man, always says that he chooses books, TV shows, and movies for their ability to help him escape the darkness of everyday reality.  I think it's a great philosophy. 

I know lots of people enjoy dark, gritty entertainment, the type with "real world" problems, but I go to the arts to increase the joy in my life. That doesn't mean it's all sunshine and rainbows, just that good wins more often than bad. I like to laugh, and I do so quite freely, and everything (and everyone, for that matter) that I love makes me laugh to some degree. That's not to say I don't appreciate art which deals with loss. Some of my favourite songs are of heartbreak. Almost all of my favourite books have at least one tragedy that breaks my heart. Art reflects life, and life contains that pain. But, I choose to see life as being primarily a bright and joyful experience. So when I go to art, the love and joy need to overwhelm the darkness. This may seem like a contradiction when you see how many serial killers are on my list of favourite characters, but I go to thrillers for pure escapism, which is fun. Which is joyful.  It makes sense to me.

For the past 15 months I've been collecting books that I want to read, and I'm feeling so spoilt for choice that I'm tempted to re-read a favourite book simply to avoid making the decision about what to read next.  I have an odd habit with books I'm really looking forward to. I buy them right away, and then keep them unread.  My theory is that once I read the book, I'll no longer have it to look forward to.  So I build up a little stockpile of my favourite authors until I reach a breaking point, at which I gorge myself on them over the course of a month (or sometimes just a couple of weeks!). I sometimes do the same thing with a 'new to me' author who has several titles published already. I enjoy a total immersion style of fandom.

Currently I have multiple titles from (in no particular order):
Rob Thurman
Chelsea Cain
Daniel Kalla
Kelly Meding
Caitlin Kittredge
Jeff Lindsay
Kathy Reichs
Maggie Sefton
Peter Tremayne
Devon Monk
Tanya Huff
Roddy Doyle
Anton Strout
Jim Butcher
Ariana Franklin
Lev Grossman

plus individual titles by another half dozen authors, a bunch of history and mythology books, books by friends, and some new authors I want to try, all awaiting my pleasure!

Ever since I started reading the Man Booker books I've felt as though I am battling the clock.  Looking at my list of 'pleasure' reading, I feel like I've got all the time in the world, it's just a matter of making a start somewhere, and they will all get read! It's a pretty great feeling!

Happy Reading!

Not A Review Of Celtic Thunder

I finished reading Graham Swift's "Last Orders" on Tuesday, November 27th - it took me 15 days to read it, but I've been having a difficult time blogging about it. Not that I didn't enjoy the novel - I really did! - I've just been distracted this week. Completely lacking focus on anything that doesn't directly involve Celtic Thunder.  The day job has suffered, sleep has suffered, reading has suffered (I can't read while listening to music - weird, I know!), and I'm fairly certain that my friends, Twitter followers and family would really like me to just Shut. The. Fuck. Up. but I had an amazing time at the concert on Monday, I'm really excited to see the acoustic Hurricane Sandy benefit concert next weekend, and I'm seriously tempted by the cruise next November. It's been an emotionally busy week for me! I do feel bad about not blogging, but I really couldn't focus, and I didn't want to write an entire post just about how amazingly fun the show was.  So that's all I will say about it! ;)

I was a bit concerned that "Last Orders" would be similar to "The Old Devils" - just a bunch of old people drinking and depressing me.  Turns out it's more of a road trip story, with the four principle characters driving across country to spread the ashes of a recently deceased friend, Jack.  During the trip they all privately reflect on their relationships with Jack.  It's also a story about family, the ones we chose and the ones we don't, and how their expectations of us (and ours of them!) affect our lives. There are moments of bittersweet humour and revelations about the interconnections in their past, some surprising and some obvious, all told in bite sized chapters which fit perfectly into my 'bus reader' schedule.  I wanted the novel to go beyond it's natural conclusion because I really grew to care about the characters - which means, of course, that Swift did his job perfectly!

The theme of isolation ran deep in this novel, highlighted by the characters seeming inability to have an intimate conversation with each other.  They are all more or less alone, and facing mortality, but they never speak to each other about the fears that come along with that, even as they are all preoccupied with them in their own thoughts.  They worry about their children, and who will see to their remains when they pass on.  Despite that, it feels like a hopeful novel, as they all still have time left to them in which they can try to reconnect.  There's something beautiful about that.

All said, I really enjoyed this novel, will gladly recommend it, and I'm looking forward to reading more of Graham Swift's writing in the future.  For now, my next read is Arundhati Roy's "The God Of Small Things" - which has been in my purse since Tuesday, and hasn't been opened once.  Also, I'm no further along in Pat Baker's Regeneration trilogy because as hard as it is for me to read while listening to music, it is 100% more difficult to 'read' an audio book while listening to music!

In my defence, it was a really amazing concert!

Happy reading!